Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
