It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
