How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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