I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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