you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize