Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
