yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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