Ambien. No doubt about it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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