You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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