She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
