whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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