New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
