he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
