I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
