This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Houston, we have a blender
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
