You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
