Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
