I want to stick my p in your. b.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
