actually, I'm a sock model
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
