he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
