there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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