I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
