So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
