can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
