Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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