Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
