i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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