do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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