So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize