you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Please, let me fuck your mom
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
