$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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