Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
