i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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