dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
