Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
