I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
