She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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