Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
