hell yes lets make some ravioli
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
