im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I stole a fireplace last night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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