Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
