..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sponge bath it is.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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