Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
