Pappa wants mamma naked
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My penis needs a shock collar
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
