No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
