the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
