Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
