um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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