I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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