Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
