I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
