pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
