My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
