the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
