he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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