NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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