If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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