Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
