If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
