It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
