I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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